One form of evaluation comes through the power of story.

One evening at our group I started by telling the group they could choose Option #1 or Option #2. I gave them no indication what was behind ‘door #1′ or ‘door #2.’ One of the outspoken individuals picked #2 and everyone else just fell in line. I got more insight as to whom I could approach as a future apprentice.

Well, option #2 was an exercise that required self-examination and some serious thinking on the part of the group members. I handed out this page and challenged everyone to think back over the past year and see how they’d grown in the four core values. Then to spend time thinking forward about how they would would like to grow in the four core value areas.

But wait, that’s not all, then they were to spend time thinking about how the group could help them grow in those four core values. This was one uninterrupted quiet time about 20 minutes long… okay, there were a couple of times when little kids interrupted us to tell mommy that they needed to go potty.

After the quiet time, we spend about 45 minutes discussing our thoughts. We focused mainly on the future personal growth and the group involvement in that growth. It was a great discussion. We learned some things about each other, both vulnerability and acceptance were present. It was one of the best group nights we've had.

That being said, there are huge benefits that I’ve gained in my life over more than a dozen years in structured group life. Benefits that exist, not because of Sunday mornings, but because I’ve chosen to live in close proximity with other believers.

1. Confession: As I have built the relationships within a small group of friends, I have found that trust grows, acceptance flows, and therefore confession is able to happen. I am able to express the things that God is putting his finger on in my life and I find the support and love of friends.

2. Application: As we discuss Scripture and talk about our lives it becomes obvious how a Scriptural principle can be specifically applied in my life, including ways that I would not have thought of on my own.

3. Accountability: I can think of times when, in the middle of a discussion, a group member will look at me and ask, “Didn’t you say you were going to ____ a few weeks ago? How is that going?” The consistency of meeting with my friends on a regular, intentional, frequent basis has allowed me to give the right to others to hold me accountable as I continue in my journey of spiritual formation.

4. Guidance in decision making: There are times, despite all my prayers, that I cannot discern the path that God wants me to walk. Getting to know people and being vulnerable with each other provides opportunity to get some godly feedback when I’m facing a decision. I know that I can trust these friends, I know they love me and have my best interests in mind, and I know the condition of their relationship with God. These factors sure make it easier to take their input and advice.

5. Encouragement, care, love and affirmation: There are times when I just need people to help lift me up. Everyone goes through the valleys. I can look to those in my small group as “Jesus with skin on.” The phone call, the email, the drop by visit; all things that let me know that people care.

Sunday mornings are an important part of our spiritual journey. Gathering with a large group of other believers is important for celebration and teaching. Sitting in a bunch of rows, staring at the back of a bunch of heads and the faces of only a few, misses out on so much of the life that God intends for us to experience.

The other line that I wrote down was much deeper and much more deep. The zebras were running as a herd and you hear one make this comment: “It’s one for all, and all for all.” Did you read that properly? "It's one for all, and all for ALL."

It was proof that sometimes things hit us deeper when we’re assuming we know what’s coming, but then a curve ball happens and we learn something instead of staying numb to the same-old-same-old. The cliche is only different by one word, but the depth of meaning is much more significant.

While in the theater the movie kept going, but my mind began to wander. How true the statement is on so many levels. We realize that there is safety in numbers and that is why so many animals live in herds. The parallel to the community life that God has designed us to live in is obvious.

What struck me about the phase was the last word… “all.” We are familiar with the phrase ending with “…all for one.” While the Musketeers used the phrase as a commitment to each other, there was still a recognition of individualism within the greater body.

In the body of Christ, we need to make an effort to keep the focus on the body, not the individual. In Colossians 3:11 Paul writes these words; “Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.”

It is prior to our salvation that individualism and separation flourishes. It is after salvation, when we enter the body of Christ, that our identity is found in what is bigger than any single person, the body of Christ!

One of the poor habits I come across as I talk with group leaders is a reluctance to continue a scheduled group meeting if one or two people are unable to attend. This is going to be a little weird: I sometimes wonder if, even in a small group setting, we can become numbers driven. The fact is that people are not going to show up on occasion… and even for good reason!

Some of the best times I’ve had a group are when most of the members didn’t make it. We’d just put the material aside and spend a drawn out time focusing on the really important part of group life: each other.

As we look forward into this new and coming year, I wish to challenge you to keep this word in mind: START. Absolutely take time to count the cost! Don’t neglect that by any stretch. But don’t let the paralysis of analysis stop you in your tracks. Solomon writes these words:

Ecclesiastes 11:4: “If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done” (NLT)

I don’t believe in the whole New Years Resolutions thing. If you don’t have the discipline to change in April, why would you have more discipline in January?? So, don’t make this a resolution… just start what you believe God wants you to do.

Here’s what the leader wrote:

Our group will be doing some things differently for our next study. We all have very busy schedules and each family has a lot of stuff piling up that needs to get done at our homes. Some of the families recently had babies and you can only imagine how busy they are.

Last week we showed up at at our host home and Daniel was on a ladder trying to clean his gutters and squeeze in a project before small group meeting. He was there, by himself, on the ladder.  We need to ask our friends for help and be willing to return the favor. For us to help others we can start by helping each other and then maybe continue to others in need.

In the CONNECT series, we had a study a few weeks back that we talked about PRIDE and how we don’t ask for help because we think we can handle it ourselves. This is a chance for us all to break our pride and let others help us out. We found that our small group gatherings have been getting smaller recently and the main reason is because we are all behind on our to do lists.

We came up with a plan! Each of us are going to make a list of projects that need to get done around our house. Sometimes this list is referred to as a “honey do list.” Each week, we are going to have a fellowship gathering at each family’s home and work on their list. We are at our best when we are helping other people, so why not help our own family’s with their projects. It is another activity that defines team building and brings us closer together.