The Path Leads Somewhere
A friend in a former church that I served used to say of parenting, "Pick your path and live with where it leads." No parent looks at their newborn and dreams of an emotionally broken, codependent, needy and/or abusive future for their child. No parent in their right mind would do that. Every parent wants the best for their children.
And yet, plenty of children grow up and become emotionally broken, codependent, needy and/or abusive. The difference is the path, not the intent! Often times we make decisions with intended consequences... the outcomes we are trying to accomplish. There are also unintended consequences. Unintended consequences can sometimes be positive, but they may also be negative.
Lately I've been trying to ask myself, "What are the potential unintended consequences to this decision?" More often than not it is impossible to see into the future and predict all the consequences of a decision. However, intentionally asking the question helps me look past the decision as a strategic step to address an issue. I have a better chance of keeping the ultimate goal in mind.
Parenting isn't the only arena in life where the path we choose leads to different destinations with multiple unintended consequences. Some other paths to choose carefully include:
- marriage
- employment
- spiritual growth
- education
- personal finances
The list can go on. Pick you path carefully, it does lead somewhere. There are consequences, intended and unintended to every decision we make.
If a tree falls in the woods
There is an old Chinese proverb that says: “When a tree falls it makes a big noise; when a forest grows nobody hears anything.” In leadership we can be tempted to run toward the sound of “crashing trees.” After all, the excitement of sudden change can be quite alluring. We need to remember though that trees falling are not what they are intended to do!
A tree’s purpose is grow and remain standing, strong and healthy. Sometimes through outside forces or inside forces, trees fall. Usually the fall indicates something is was wrong with the tree. As leaders, we need to focus on the quiet, steady growth of those we are leading. Whether it is an organization or a group of individuals, healthy growth is the preventative measure to a premature fall.
In growing healthy followers of Christ, we must never forget the fundamentals.
- Reading the Bible (for more than information)
- Praying (for more than meals)
- Christ-centered relationships (for more than social connections)
Often times we are distracted by the excitement of rapid and sudden change, the new idea that is creating buzz, however, it is often in the quiet, consistent execution of the fundamentals that healthy growth occurs.
Talking WITH God
Prayer is another critically important habit to have in your daily routine. Far too often the only consistent prayer time we have is just before we eat! And that prayer is often routine and rote. I read a book years ago written by a pastor of a very large church. The title of the book: “Too Busy Not to Pray.”
Far too often prayer is something we participate in when we need God to bail us out of some circumstance instead of keeping the lines of communication open in the most important relationship of your life.
Life’s Not Fair
Every parent has heard the words. Every leader has heard the words. Every mediator has heard the words. "That's not fair!"
There is a root thought that causes us to want fairness and it isn't a desire for fairness. A root cause for 'fairness' is actually greed.
In Luke 12:13-15 there is a brief account of a man asking Jesus to tell his brother to divide the inheritance his brother was going to get. In that day, the oldest brother got everything. The younger brother got what was left over. The younger brother was asking for life to be fair. I find it interesting that Jesus didn't challenge the cultural norm of the day. Instead he drilled down to the heart of the matter.
Jesus pointedly addresses that the young man was not motivated by fairness, but by greed. "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."
There are many lessons in this statement of Jesus'. The fact that he goes to the issue of greed emphasizes that this young man wanted what was not his. This is the essence of greed.
When you're feeling like you want life to be fair, check your own heart. Are you really wanting something that isn't yours in the first place?
Fasting
Have you ever had that one meal that when you finished you sat back and said, “Wow, my appetite is satisfied once and for all!”? Of course not, our appetite is something that cannot be permanently satisfied. In fact, feeding your appetite actually increases, not decreases, your appetite!
Fasting isn’t an inherently spiritual activity – meaning that there are a variety of purposes to fasting. Fasting is normal before getting blood work done for your annual (or less frequent if you are male) physical. It is normal before a surgical procedure. Fasting is a part of some health regiments to remove toxins from your system. What turns fasting into a spiritual activity is the purpose. I’ve known people that have joined a fast that a church was promoting because, “I need to lose some weight anyway.” That is the wrong motive.
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